iStill Believe
by Mac-alicious
Summary: After my conversation with Carly, I have renewed hope that one day she'll love me back. Maybe that day has finally come. Companion to iBelieve. Creddie.


**A/N: **This is the companion to the one-shot iBelieve I wrote awhile ago. It's from Freddie's point of view. Enjoy! R&R! Thanks! -Mac

**Disclaimer: **I don't own iCarly.

**iStill Believe**

"Squeeze in tighter, you three," Spencer said, gesturing for us to move closer together as he held up his camera. I took a step closer to Carly, who was standing between me and Sam, and she leaned into me. I resisted the urge to wrap an arm around her.

"Um, Spencer?" Carly piped up. "Where exactly did you get your new camera?"

"I got Socko to get me a deal with his friend who sells used cameras," Spencer answered.

"Lemme guess, is his name Polaroid-o?" Sam snickered at her own joke and I rolled my eyes.

"No, his name is George," Spencer frowned, but he perked up when he added, "He gave me a great deal because the camera wasn't working properly, but I've got it all fixed up now. Just needed a few tweaks. I mean, _steal_, right?"

"Maybe we should use my camera," Carly suggested and eyed the camera wearily.

"Nonsense," Spencer grinned. "Get together, now say FaDoodles!"

The second Spencer moved to press the button on the camera, Sam reached around Carly's back to knock my graduation cap off my head. I made a disgruntled sound as my cap fell in my face and the camera flashed in a very unnatural way.

"Okay, I definitely saw a spark," Carly shook her head. She stepped forward with her hand outstretched, palm up. She gestured for Spencer to hand her his camera and he obliged reluctantly with a pout on his face. "You are not setting yourself on fire on the day of my high school graduation. We'll use my camera."

"Hey look, there's Gibby and his mom," Sam said. "I'll have them come over to take some pictures with us."

Sam ran off toward Gibby and his mom on the far side of the crowd of graduates and their families. Carly discarded Spencer's makeshift camera and offered him her own digital camera. I bent over to retrieve my cap from where it landed on the ground. I wiped away a few strands of grass that clung to it. Once it was satisfactorily cleaned, I placed it back on my head before my mother could find us and see that it had touched the ground. The last thing I needed was a lecture on the bacteria found _everywhere_.

"Hey, let's get a couple pictures of you and Freddie," Spencer said suddenly. He pushed Carly toward me and held up her camera ready to snap a few.

"We should probably wait for Sam," Carly responded nervously, keeping a fair distance between herself and me.

"Yeah," I agreed, swallowing the lump in my throat. "We should wait, totally."

"You're acting weird. Get together," Spencer raised an eyebrow. "Act like you're friends, or acquaintances at least. People who just met, but already connected over one thing they have in common?"

Spencer was right about one thing—Carly had been acting weird for a while. I actually could pinpoint the exact moment she started to act strangely around me. It was that night a few months back when Nick broke up with her. Why she was acting out of the usual was a different story. It could be for some completely unrelated reason that had nothing to do with me. Not likely. It could be because our conversation about whether or not she had feelings for me had made it awkward for her to be around me while she figured herself out. Semi-likely. It also could be that she already had figured out how she felt, and she realized she didn't have feelings for me, yet couldn't figure out how to tell me. Very likely. But I liked to think that she had finally come to the conclusion that she was in love with me and she was now trying to figure out the most special way to tell me. Less likely than it having nothing to do with me—but a boy can dream, right?

Carly finally walked back over to me at Spencer's insistence. She offered me a strained smile and stood stiffly next to me. Spencer made a face and mad another waving gesture for us to squeeze together. Carly sighed and slid over until she was only an inch away from me. I tentatively reached out an arm to wrap around her waist. My touch startled her, but after a second she relaxed and shifted to stand against my side. Spencer took a couple shots and Carly eased into my embrace. She rested her head on my shoulder and then I was the one to tense. I was just getting comfortable in the moment when Same darted into the shot dragging Gibby after her.

"Sam!" Carly exclaimed, pulling away from me to chase after Sam.

I rolled my eyes. It was so typical for Sam to completely ruin a moment like that. Not that anything would have come of taking a picture together, but it was a step in the right direction. Either way, there was no going back. My mother finally spotted us through the crowd and was sprinting toward us. I didn't get close to Carly again the rest of the day as we all shuffled around to get a sufficient amount of pictures of everyone present.

OOO

Carly threw a graduation party for our class at her and Spencer's apartment that night after the ceremony. She had been planning it for a month or more, and had everything ready and waiting. Yet like most carefully laid plans, it quickly turned to chaos. The snacks were dwindled to nothing by an unexpected influx of party guests, furniture was pushed aside for dancing, and Spencer had long since gone to hide in his room. Plus, we were almost certain that someone had spiked the punch, but none of us were brave enough to test that theory—everyone else was sucking it down without complaint though. Carly tried to keep order for awhile, but it soon became obvious that there was no way to control the situation. She gave up and moved on to mingle and dance with her guests.

I was sitting on one of the bar stools, trying to look casual as I watched Carly make her way around the room. I kicked myself because I couldn't muster up the courage to walk up to my best friend and talk to her. Silly fear always got the best of me. Carly was talking to a few guys from our class and a flare of jealousy cut through me. I was distracted, from the urge to punch something, by Sam plopping down on the stool next to me.

"I tried the punch," Sam said, grinning from ear to ear. "It's definitely spiked."

"Good to know," I responded and turned back to look at Carly, who was now dancing with one of the guys she had been talking to.

Sam followed my gaze, "Keeping the faith, hmm, Benson? Doesn't look like you have much of a shot with her now."

"I still believe I have a chance," I defended myself, even though I wasn't so sure anymore.

I had figured my odds were good when she didn't start dating again after Nick, but that could very well have been because she was going way for college and she didn't want anything she'd have to leave behind. There could have been a hundred reasons why she wasn't dating, none of which had anything to do with me, but I tried to keep up the hope that Carly had renewed that day. That was really the only choice I had, because if I had to let go of the hope, then I would have had to let go of Carly completely. I couldn't do that, not when any part of me was still holding on.

"You're hopeless, Fredward," Sam shook her head. "I told you before, it's never going to happen."

I didn't get a chance to respond because Carly had broken away from her dance partner and came over to us. She stood in front of us slightly breathless, "Hey guys, having fun?"

"I had some of the punch," Same answered. "It was enjoyably alcoholic."

Carly frowned in disapproval. Then she turned to me, "How about you Freddie? Sam's not giving you too much grief, is she?"

Sam tilted her head toward me, raising an eyebrow.

"No, not at all," I said. "She's being unnaturally pleasant."

"Why don't I believe you?" Carly laughed.

"Because I'm not capable of lying to you?" I shrugged and offered Carly an innocent smile.

Carly still didn't look convinced. "If you say so. Oh, Sam," Carly said as she seemed to remember something. She pointed across the room, "that boy was asking about you."

Sam tilted her head to look around Carly. She grinned, "Mama likes. I'm out of here. You two have fun."

Carly took the stool that Sam vacated. We sat beside each other quietly and watched the other guests having fun. Carly had a smile on her face as she kept an eye on Sam and the boy our friend was talking to. I had always thought Carly had a beautiful smile and the genuine happiness that kept that smile on her face that night made me feel guilty for moping. I couldn't think of a better pick me up than the spiked punch at the moment—well, I could think of something else that could liven my spirits, but it didn't look like Carly was going to be making any declarations of love anytime soon.

"No, thanks," Carly shook her head. "I should be sober, especially if no one else is. You probably shouldn't have any either. I heard your mom telling Spencer that she bought a breathalyzer."

"Typical," I rolled my eyes. That plan had been tossed out the window.

"You should dance with me instead," Carly said as she slipped down off her stool. She offered a hand to me.

"Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously," Carly smiled. "We _graduated_. You should be enjoying yourself, instead of being antisocial."

The upbeat music faded to a slow song as I took Carly's hand. I hesitated, thinking she might changer he mind, but she gave my had a tug and led me out to the center of the room. Wrapping her arms around my neck, Carly pressed close to me. I swallowed hard before placing my hands on the appropriate places on her waist. We swayed together to the music and I prayed that the song was a long one. Midway through the song, Carly pressed even closer to me and rested her head in the crook of my neck. My breath caught in my throat and I'm pretty sure I sighed. The moment was nearly perfect. I had Carly in my arms on this special night. The only thing that would have made it better was the reassurance that Carly felt the same way as me. But I took what I could get. It was all I could do—all I would do until Carly told me there was no reason for me to still believe.

OOO

We shot our last iCarly that week. The studio was decorated with the leftover decorations from the party and we had all borrowed our graduation gowns for the occasion. I was fiddling with some last minute video settings on my computer when Carly left where she was going over a segment with Sam and Gibby to come stand by me. My attention remained on the screen as Carly waited quietly at my side. I tapped the last button to queue up the right sequence of clips before turning to Carly. She didn't say a word. She just straightened the front of my gown and pushed a piece of my hair back under my cap. She smiled when she was done and reached for my hand to give it a gentle squeeze.

Then she said, "Are you ready?"

"For the end of an era?" I raised an eyebrow. "I don't think I'll ever be ready."

"Me either," Carly nodded. "I don't know what I'm going to do with myself now that we won't be doing this every week."

Across the room, Sam clapped her hands, "It's time."

Carly released my hand and began to back away to join Sam at their mark. "Count us in, Freddie."

I lifted the camera and swung it around to focus on them, "Five, four, three, two..."

We were live.

"I'm Carly."

"And I'm Sam."

They added together, "And this is the very last iCarly."

The two nodded sadly as Sam clicked the appropriate sound effect to play, "aww."

Brightening a degree, Carly began, "From our attire, you can see we graduated high school this week."

I turned the camera around so my face filled the screen, "Yes, even Sam."

Sam stepped forward and gripped the camera to turn it back to her, "Yes, even me."

I zoomed out of the close up on Sam to center both girls in the frame.

"Since this is the last iCarly, we have very special segments prepared for you and some recorded farewells from all our favorite guests," iCarly explained. I got ready to cue Spencer and his special made sculpture before Carly continued, "but first, a video tribute to some of our favorite fan submitted clips put together by Same and me, _without_ the help of our technical director. Sam, will you do the honors?"

I frowned as Sam pulled out a disc and went about queuing up the video and starting it on the live feed and on the TV screen for us. I lowered the camera, and turned to watch the montage of clips with Carly and Sam. I wasn't sure what to expect, considering neither of them told me about this or worked it into the show plan, but it was just a simple video. All the clips are ones I've seen before some were just snippets of the original videos. Finally, what I assumed was, the last clip faded to black. I was preparing to switch back to the main camera when the screen faded back in to a clip of Carly recorded from her web cam. I shot her a confused glance but she ignored it.

"Hey everyone," the video Carly said. "Carly here. So, you're probably wondering why I'm doing this in a video rather than live and the answer is simple: I have to get this right," Carly took a deep breath and then continued, "With Graduation coming up, I've been thinking a lot about the important moments in our lives. Since we started iCarly, Sam, Freddie and I have shared all of those important moments with you. So, I've been grappling with how to go about initiating another one of those important moments and it dawned on me that _this_ was the only way that was fitting."

The video Carly paused and pushed her hair, out of her face. She began again, "So here it goes. Awhile ago I had a conversation with a friend that left me with a lot of questions."

I was entranced by the Carly on the screen, curious and nervous about what all of this could be about. I barely noticed. Sam moving to my side and slipping the camera out of my hands.

"Questions about myself. Questions about my heart. Questions that I had never allowed myself to answer before," the video Carly looked directly into the camera and seemed to look right at me. "Freddie, if you haven't figured it out yet, I'm talking about the conversation I had with you. It took me a long time to come to terms with the answers I had to these questions. These were things I never could or never wanted to admit to myself. But you showed me that day that you had never given up hope and I'm glad you still believe because now I have this chance to tell you once and for all that—"

The video Carly froze in place and I panicked briefly, anxious to hear the rest of that sentence. Then the real life Carly stepped in front of me, blocking the video screen, and finished her own sentence. "I love you too, Freddie."

I'm surprised I didn't faint right there as embarrassing as that would have been—it would have been on camera too, because out of the corner of my eye I could see Sam turning the camera on the two of us. Carly took a step closer to me and placed her hands on my shoulder. She looked me right in the eyes. The full meaning of what she had just said finally hit me and I took her in my arms. I kissed her, on camera for all of iCarly's viewers to see. I felt vindicated. All that time I spent hoping and believing had all been worth it in the end. No longer did I have to wait. Now, I had something new to believe in and I couldn't be happier.


End file.
